Wednesday, April 2, 2014

B is for Babies!

I wish I had known.....that you don't know how easy it is to goof it all up and it still turns out alright...with babies!

So, first kid......
-  you celebrate that second pink line with anyone who glances your way (watch out Safeway cashier!)
-  you start wearing maternity clothes immediately just because you can (even though you are probably not going to show until MUCH later)......
-  you pick out everything to be color coordinated
-  your registry is packed with every conceivable ‘thingy’ you can find or that the ‘registry suggestion list’ at the store told you HAVE TO HAVE!
-  You actually buy that damn crib iPod holder because it's SO cool! (true story)
-  Everything is clean and ready a month ahead of time
-  you've read everything about everything and you know it all.  If you're anything like me, you even took notes, college-style, and created yourself a cheat sheet about when the milestones are supposed to be, what you're supposed to be doing, etc.
-  You're convinced that everyone else is doing it WRONG and you can do a much better job
-  Your baby shower……thrown by your sister, of course…….is AMAZING! (do not turn down the baby shower btw…….you will regret it!) J

Kid is born!  Damn, that hurt.  I personally recommend an epidural (well, at least I did after the first two).  It still hurts.  And you're going to hurt after.  DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT,  assume that because you have handled cramps all your life and can take a fall pretty well, that you can make it the first couple of nights without your Percocet!  Oh, and hemorrhoids are REAL.  They are no joke and I heard a nurse refer to them as "Angry Little Men".

Few years later.....

you've finally got the routine down, you can pack a diaper bag with your eyes shut, he's hitting his milestones, got all his shots, and you've managed to have that 'accessory' kid that you can still take with you everywhere and he's pretty good.....

So......sure.....let's have another one.  how much different could it be?  hahahahahahahahaha.........

Guess what?  This is not the oldest or only child we're talking about.  this is the one who had a very close-in-age teacher.......everything is much quicker..........this one will do everything you were warned about with the first and were totally prepared for but that didn't actually happen so you figured everyone else was crazy (like putting everything in their mouths).  Only, this time you let your guard down......heaven help this child.  At least now you've learned that a food processor works just fine to puree canned veggies.. (you can get 5-6 baby servings of veg from 1 can that cost less than a buck!)......the baby DOES NOT need to be changed every 1-2 hours (unless they really do - which will happen the moment they get a fresh diaper on their butt - for some reason, a fresh diaper induces poop!) so you might actually save a diaper or two a day.......which extends that pack an extra day or two (score!).  

Eventually, the second one catches up to a self-sufficient stage where you can manage both kids with the same food, bedtime routine, set of books, etc.  

then you start to realize that you're probably done..........done........your ovaries are now useless.......your womb, empty.........you can start selling stuff in yard sales.........oh no, i'm not ready to let go of my babies..........baby fever.......

and then........

comes number 3.........

guess what?  naked works.......as long as you put a towel down......you really hope you washed everything before you put it in the attic last time because she's wearing it right out of the box because there is nothing else clean at the moment.....and......I hate to admit this......you CAN actually throw a bit of cheeseburger through your little hand-held baby food grinder and mix it with a little formula when there's nothing else........

....and you discover that sometimes, all the routines, and plans, and should-dos are just not as important as the 3 kids lying on the floor laughing together.........or watching your eldest work really hard for the baby's smile.....or eating pita chips, hummus, and carrot sticks really does count as a balanced meal as long as you all sat together and your kids got to tell you about their day. 

So, you start out up-tight...can't help it.  It's survival.  You want to be prepared for anything.  Then you soften and realize that you can't screw up too badly as long as you're present and love them!  Love them for more than they can stand!


Also, realize that it takes a village (thank you, Janette).  You can't do it alone.  You will never be able to afford everything you think they should have on your own.  It's ok to ask for help!

3 comments:

  1. ha! We stopped at 2 as well... but the difference between first time mama & second time mama is HUGE! It is actually much nicer to be a bit more relaxed...

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  2. OMG! This is hysterical! This should be required reading for teens in Health class - 'coz it's SCARY! lol
    (new follower)
    Lexa Cain’s Blog

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