Thursday, April 24, 2014

U is for Underwear

I wish I would have known how much of my daily consciousness is spent considering my underwear.  Of course, every woman has her own issues.  I, for one, am a bit round shaped.  Well, i guess more egg shaped.  my neck being the top of this egg.  To put it out there, i have no butt or hips.  Some might claim they spend hours in a gym to get rid of theirs, but there are probably many things I would be ashamed to say out loud that I would do to get a butt and something that resembles hips.  In any case, where was I?  Oh yes, my issue with underwear.  I have a few pairs of panties.........you know the ones you really don't want to wear but they are the only ones left clean and you have no choice?  yeah, those.  well, they tend to want to run away......I'll be walking to a meeting and know it's going to happen........and I'm walking and walking and I feel the top hem starting to fold.......I'm praying that i can at least make it to the elevator before..........oh no, the roll has started........and it's rolling down......please please please stop at my hips.....nope, no hips......and now my panties have rolled themselves into one of those super tight inner-tube like pythons around my thighs........now, I'm walking with a little less pep, trying to do the secret pantie grab in the elevator....knowing it's just too late........have to go to the ladies room and essentially start over.  pulling them up as high as i possibly can......tuck the hem under my bra?........sigh.  guess that should be motivation to keep up with the laundry!

I've heard of ladies having the opposite problem, but have never experienced the ride-up.  Do you all just wish for empty elevator to pick it out? I can't even imagine wearing a thong!  always feeling like you have a wedgie and never getting any relief and knowing you did it to yourself?!  One question, why?

to end, I'll quote my sister with a panty-relevant statement she made in her teens....
"i have a much better day when i wear full-seated panties" - AWM

Amen.


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