Monday, January 6, 2014

Women are Each Other

There's been a few articles circling around that really bother me.  One was by a girl of a certain age who decided to wage a little war on young women entering into marriage.  Then, there was a retort by another girl of a certain age.  Both girls’ articles were not the most well written pieces, but they did highlight a significant problem in our society.  Women are wicked to each other.  Plain and simple, we are.  My sister said as much to me one day while I was on a rant about some other woman and it's been with me ever since.

It starts young, too.  Very rarely do we get through a week where there isn't a news story somewhere about some poor little girl being tortured by some 'cool girls'.  I, as a kid, was teased constantly about being the big kid.  I was always taller and bigger and my voice was always deeper.  Then you get to high school girls.  How many scripts-turned-movies have been written about the 4-year hazing ritual that is high school?  Girls are always in competition with each other.  Do they usually just leave it on the field like our simpler counter parts?  Oh no.  We wage war complete with tactical maneuvers of other girls, traps, torture and very rarely does a POW come out 'ok'.  She's permanently damaged no matter how many psychological Band-Aids we try to apply.  

Maybe it's the presence of all those extra brain connections.  I'm not a scientist so I’m not going to start spilling out a bunch of theories here.  

Let's skip college (if you chose to go) altogether since that's just another battlefield.

Ok, real world.  Time to be an adult.  Time to make those big choices in life.

Go to the big city and make it big on your own?
Stay home and marry your high school sweetheart?
Move out and raise that baby on your own?
Get married, travel the world, and never plan to have kids?
Settle down, have a van full of kids?
Be a stay-at-home mom?
Be a working mom?
Break through the glass ceiling?
Try to have it all?

I know I’ve missed a hundred scenarios, however, it doesn't really matter.  No matter how many choices I list and how many you morph through in your life.........according to the female population as a'll be WRONG!  The thing is, I think women always wish we had a different choice to make or question our choices so we turn around and defend our position and put down all the others.  We may tolerate those choices similar to ours, but stand two or more women in a room where each has made a choice on completely different ends of the spectrum and there will be tension.  Then we call our best friends later and talk all about that 'Woman!"   How do I know?  I'm guilty of it, quite guilty actually.  I'm the married young, have three kids, and work full time with a stay-at-home hubby and I’m only 32.  Can you guess which woman are my target of choice?  

We need to stop.  We need to support each other.  It takes all sorts of us to make the world work.  Regardless of your personal maternal choice, we are all part of raising the next generation of kick-ass women.  They are watching us and taking their cues from us.  They clue into it early and thus we end up with a bunch of both pretty little bullies and tortured souls.  

Where is it going to end?  When can we step back and realize that it's us against the world?  It's our fault, in a way, though.  We (females) want to be and do so many things and having been oppressed for so long, finally the world said, "Fine!  Have it your way!  Be Everything, NOW!"  And thus, we struggle just to be who we want to be and do what we want to do without the pressures put on us by family, friends, our teachers, co-workers, spouses, our children.....and finally each other.  We can't do it all and we get mad and we turn and lash out at the women who've done the things we couldn't or won't.  Thing is, those same women are looking right back at you thinking the same thing....but opposite.  

So, hear this.  Ladies, Gals, Girls, Women....Be and do so much regardless of if you are 23 or not!

Be a mom.  Be an aunt.  Be a sister.  Be a daughter.  Be a teacher.  Be a student.  Be a spouse.  Be single.  Be a friend.  Be a traveler.  Be a movie watcher.  Be in the PTO.  Be the CEO.  Be a secretary. Be a go-getter.  Be content.  Be a shopper.  Be crafty.  Be a driver.  Be a rider.  Be in charge.  Be a follower.  Be a note taker.  Be a writer.  Be a fighter.  Be at peace.  Be a lover.  Be alone.  Be a reader.  Be quiet.  Be a screamer.  Be a dancer.  Be wild.  Be tame.  Be religious.  Be a questioner.  Be the answer.  Be a pusher.  Be understanding.  Be behind the scenes.  Be a Star.  Be set in your ways.  Be willing to change.  Be, be, be......Be YOURSELF!!  

...and above all, appreciate the beauty of all the choices we, as women have and respect the right every woman has to choose 1 or a 100 in her lifetime and love her for it!