Tuesday, April 8, 2014

G is for Grass

I wish I had known just how much I would dislike (not hate) GRASS!

Growing up, my parents had two girls and my dad was in the military, so, guess who got to mow grass when Daddy was away?  Me (and I honestly don't remember if my sister got to share in that joy).  It was something I did to earn my allowance.

In college and in my first apartments, it was something that ought to look nice because I was paying for it to be, but I could never figure out why it always had to be cut at the crack of dawn!

In our first townhouse, we had a little patch.  We mowed it and sat in it and it was fine.  

Then, we started looking for a house.....must have a yard!  I had one little boy at the time, expecting our second kid (didn't know boy or girl yet) and all of the house-buying myths tell you......you must have a yard for kids to play in.  For a dog to run in.  But, guess, what?  They never really tell you how much work it is!  You have to mow that crap like once (sometimes more) a week!  It doesn't stop!  Just another reason I enjoy fall so much!  The grass slows......and eventually stops....just for a brief moment.

It's like a life sentence.  If you drive around in the middle of the day in your neighborhood, especially in the spring, just count how many retired guys are not living it up somewhere......they are mowing their grass.  Fertilizing their grass.  Sweeping up around the edges.  Just looking at it.  Carrying out their sentence.  It’s no longer a chore......it's life.  At least most of them have gotten a bit of a parole and granted the use of a riding mower, but still.............grass!!  acckkk!!  It will get you!!!

Since moving in, we've tried to devise ways of killing it without actually parking cars on it and looking like we're having a perpetual yard sale (you know the houses I'm talking about).  We triple-weed blocked the back third of our yard, covered it in mulch and installed the playground..........2 months later, guess what?  You would never have known I spent hours on my hands and knees sentencing that grass to the dark tomb of weed-block.  Nope.  Great big, tall, ugly grass.  Growing.  Taunting me.  I used to tell myself I enjoyed mowing.........around and around and around with every circle getting smaller and smaller, like some sort of game.  I composed quite a few blogs during those laps.  My husband also lost quite a few arguments on those laps.  No.......he wasn't with me.....I knew what he would say, so I just said his parts for him......he loses every time I use this handy time-saving method of arguing.  :)  

Why am I mowing, you may ask, when I have a perfectly capable hubby?  Good question.  Probably the same reason I don't cook.  I can, if I have to, but I don't really like to, so there.  He took over the task of grass murder while I was pregnant..........then I got a yard guy.  Best decision ever!  I still continue to scheme ways to kill it all and still have an attractive landscape, but, well, that takes A LOT more money than just getting some kid to make it go away weekly.

So, advice.  
Grass is OVER RATED!

If you end up with the green nightmare to defeat...hire a knight in the form of a teenage kid with a lawnmower!

No comments:

Post a Comment