Sunday, December 23, 2012


So, 3 years ago, our family suffered the loss of my mother-in-law.  It, like I'm sure many people have experienced, literally ripped the family apart.  So many emotions, so many unspoken words, all coming together to an explosive and devastating head.  In just a few hours, not only did we deal with the death, but we lost 3 of our 5 nieces and a sister in a very loud exchange of feelings.  At that time, I had only the one child, but I had been so much a part of the lives of the 3 girls, that I felt as though I had lost 3 of my own.  There was a definite divide in the family and everyone took sides and parted ways.  I dearly love our 2 other nieces, but the loss was sorely felt.  But what were we supposed to do?  Sometimes, don't you wish you could hit CTRL+Z (undo) on life? I now realize, though, that whether it was at that moment or months or years down the road, the same scenario was bound to occur.  Just so much bottled up stuff.  Anyhow, for 3 years we have moved on.  Each family with their own triumphs, their own moments, their own hard times.   In those 3 years, 2 babies were born, moves were made, kids GREW (a lot!).  A little while ago, by the grace of Facebook, a connection was little step at a time.......a few likes here and there, a few comments, gradually messaging back and forth......

Now, if you've ever been in a similar situation, you know the stakes are always high.  Everyone nervous about the other party, about what they're thinking, feeling, etc.  You also have to take into account outside parties.......will they feel betrayed?  Will they be honest with themselves and understand your needs?  All that in mind, you sometimes just have to take a leap of faith.  I ached for those girls so much, I couldn't backtrack.......finally on the path I had hoped to find for so long....just had to keep going regardless of any impending cliffs and hope for a field of flowers..well, guess what?  LOTS OF FLOWERS!!!!  

As we walked into the restaurant  I really tried to hold back the tears, but I couldn't.  I just held those girls and my sister-in-law for all I was worth.  Met my new niece and introduced my youngest.  We spent several hours with them and, though it put me driving over a yucky mountain (btw, all mountains are yucky late at night) in the pitch dark, every moment was worth it!

Wishing you and yours a Christmas as blessed as our own this year!

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